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Chart Floppers

by GLAT

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1.
I spent my life inside a grocery store My parents salt and brine they shoved me out the door Now people celebrate, the moment that I’m gone You might say you miss me but I guarantee you’re wrong Cuz I gravitate toward graveyards I agitate with age Too boring to be wild Too unwise to be a sage I’m the bottom of the barrel This is what you get when there is nothing else left You can do me right, or do me dirty- in my position, there’s no special requests It’s rotten but it’s where it suits me best I broke the record for how far you can fall That’s not a brag- I’m sincerely pitiful When the universe gave me lemons- I became a pickled egg I say with no hyperbole- you can’t take me down one peg Cuz I gravitate towards graveyards I agitate with age Too boring to be wild Too unwise to be a sage I’m the bottom of the barrel This is what you get when there is nothing else left You can do me right, or do me dirty- in my position, there’s no special requests It’s rotten but it’s where it suits me best
2.
I’m visiting my inlaws For hopefully the last time Faking indigestion Mandatory nap time She’s moping in the pet store, cuz I said that A puppy is a contract The way to intercept these disagreements Is avoiding all contact Why put ourselves in danger? Hikkikimori do it right Cold shoulder here, forget some names Think I’m gonna stay inside Sabotaging all my relationships I’d rather be left alone Life is so much easier When I’m shriveled up at home Sabotaging all my relationships I hardly have to try Practicing inertia and Intertia’s on my side Call me a curmudgeon, misanthropical La La, I can’t hear you. (la la la la la la la la) The only path I want to take is socio Better not be with you (I’ve been) Sabotaging all my relationships I’d rather be left alone Life is so much easier When I’m shriveled up at home Sabotaging all my relationships I hardly have to try Practicing inertia and Intertia’s on my side
3.
Love is always sacrifice but There’s only so much I can give I suppose that we can make it work It’s only non-vital appendages She’s taking weight off of my shoulders And weight off my hips It takes an arm and a leg to love you If I could run, you’re the one I would run to (Some) amputational proof you can point to It takes an arm and a leg and a hook and a peg too (I can only spare a few) (We) cannot make romantic omelette Without donation of a leg I think I’m following the logic but (That’s not) the way that I was raised When you said we’d need a hacksaw I Thought that was bizarre But its love, so here we are It takes an arm and a leg to love you If I could run, you’re the one I would run to (Some) amputational proof you can point to It takes an arm and a leg and a hook and a peg too Only one of my feet is cold I can give her all my heart now And half of a hug Please don’t pull out the rug
4.
Back to square one, do not pass go I absorbed an archive, and not a thing to show Clean out the house, throw out the script (All the) things in my head, are graffiti on a sunken ship, so Nobody cares what I know I learned for so many years Nobody cares what I know The blood, the sweaters, the tears Too many ways, to find what you need Why ever ask me, when you could ask jeeves The chronicles I’ve kept, I can keep to myself In an ugly little box on a dusty little shelf Dates and facts, events and eras, movements, cultures- it’s trivial Artifacts, extinctions, moments of alleged significance- it’s trivial Nobody cares what I know I learned for so many years Nobody cares what I know The blood, the sweaters, the tears
5.
I’ll be the baseball, you be the bat You’ll be the sugarcane, inside my hat WITH YOU, BY MY SIDE, MY LOVE My luck will never fail NO IT WON’T, NO IT WON’T NO IT WON’T, NO IT WON’T A wishbone’s larger half, a rabbit’s limb A string of numbers on a cookie’s paper slip WITH YOU, BY MY SIDE, MY LOVE My fortune never fails NO IT WON’T, NO IT WON’T NO IT WON’T, NO IT WON’T The bold are favoured, things are looking up Living long and prospering with you, my lovely penny i’ve picked up You be the charmer, I’ll be the snake Quadruple cloverleaf I’ve finally caught my break WITH YOU, BY MY SIDE, MY LOVE My luck can never fail NO IT WON’T, NO IT WON’T NO IT WON’T, NO IT WON’T WITH YOU, BY MY SIDE, MY LOVE WITH YOU, BY MY SIDE, MY LOVE WITH YOU
6.
Late night mineral water Yearning for the fizzy Thy state cannot be altered Locked into a tizzy Wait right literal squatter You can taste the self-control Tickle the lips, narrow the hips Keep to the plan, open a can You needed a drink, whaddya think? It’s not what you crave, but try to be brave Late (late late) Night (night night) Late night mineral water Late (late late) Night (night night) Late night mineral water Late night mineral water (You can) satisfy inclinations Disregard the feeling That you’re lacking your libations Abate nigh liquored rotter Seltzerate at night Contrary to ale; won’t go to jail Let it usurp, the worst is a burp You’ll never go wild, the flavor is mild Alternative brew, it’s all you can do Late (late late) Night (night night) Late night mineral water Late (late late) Night (night night) Late night mineral water
7.
Don't Care 04:00
Why do you look so composed? I’m not like that. I’m freaking out and... it shows I am the antonym of cucumber cool In front of you, and you and you, gonna lose it pretty soon Feel my little lungs Giving out I’m coming up for air Your head is in the clouds You genuinely do not care So la dee da, so laissez faire You genuinely do not care Is there a button I could press To call for help? To register distress I’m sensing no more empathy Collectively, our hearts are absentees Feel my little lungs Giving out I’m coming up for air Your head is in the clouds You genuinely do not care So la dee da, so laissez faire You genuinely do not care
8.
Floromantics 04:02
Had a mix-up moment Had a messed up mind Might have chosen poorly this time Papa’s got a dumb design Going down the columns With the pros and cons Miney moes and the tiger toes And if she hollers let her go And it just so happens, that you gotta make the tough decision And it just so happens, lack of focus gonna cloud your vision And you might have lost the love of your life You were still stuck on the first one No one said that you’re the sharpest of knives But you had found the two in a million So you might have lost the love of your life Can’t decide who you care for One of your feet is still outside the door Is this how it always happens? Or an isolated case? Made a scene at the antiques show You made a mess in a vase No, it can’t be easy You will never see What’s behind the door you did not choose, It remains a mystery And it just so happens, that you gotta make the tough decision And it just so happens, that your heart have double vision And you might have lost the love of your life You were stuck on the first one No one said that you’re the sharpest of knives But you found the two in a million So you might have lost the love of your life Can’t decide who you care for One of your feet was still outside the door BRIDGE: It’s heads and tails, back horse wrong or right Internal jury, all hung up, and, the judge died Is flower petal divination backed by science? Please make up your mind So you might have lost the love of your life Can’t decide who you care for One of your feet was still outside And you might have lost the love of your life You were stuck on the first one No one said that you’re the sharpest of knives But you found the two in a million So you might have lost the love of your life Can’t decide who you care for One of your feet was still outside the door
9.
He’s got dollar signs where his eyes should be, and in England, he’s got pounds His appetite for moolah knows no bounds He’d rather drown in a river of gold than float on empty clouds Those dollar signs in his skull really weigh him down His chief priority, is not a mystery Spondulicks on the brain, He’s questing after that squalor His mind is single-tracked, wants green on every back (that’s the) the avaracious way Not a gentleman nor a scholar, only loyalty to the dollar He’s got dollar signs where his eyes should be, and in England, he’s got pounds His appetite for moolah knows no bounds He’d rather drown in a river of gold than float on empty clouds Those dollar signs in his skull really weigh him down What more must be said, he needs to bring that bread This subject matter’s fully mined Big, dollar signs (Doo-dah, doo-dah-la) fat, bottom lines (doo-dah, doo-dah-la) And that’s all, there’s No need to crack motivation, insight gets a vacation He’s got dollar signs where his eyes should be, and in England, he’s got pounds His appetite for moolah knows no bounds He’d rather drown in a river of gold than float on empty clouds Those dollar signs in his skull really weigh him down
10.
Flying on a plane, flying on a plane, flying on a plane Board airplane and try to find a seat Put your bag in overhead thing Wait a while til plane gets loud Then tilt and rise and pass through cloud In-flight entertain-a-ment shall be some film from 9 months past Captain says that seatbelt's off but truly seatbelt's always on Flying on a plane, flying on a plane, etc. We're going to soar, like an airborne wild boar... or a plane, I suppose We're going to fly, like a turkey vulture creeping in the sky Picture this: you are a parasite that travels in the gullet of a bird Pelican that grants us passage, kindly bring us back to earth Press the button, flight attendant magically appears at once Flush in bathroom loud alarming, not as much as next man snore (snore sound) Flying on a plane, flying on a plane, etc. We shall ascend, to a point we comprehend Not at all, not at all We're going to soar like an airborne wild boar I suppose Pretty soon the plane will land, better make your tray get upright now Gonna make a bump and stop, then you gotta wait til doors are up Gotta get your bags, you gotta get your bags, and then you’re done with that whole thing Maybe gonna make you sad, never gonna see that plane again
11.
Sklürbo 02:55 video
12.
Nobody wants to move [nobody wants to move] All of our arms are crossed [rather be gettin sauced] (DO YOU) got too much on your plate (OR) was it that thing you ate? (my) condolences for your trouble, cuz it’s hard to enthusitate, I kno\\ Your closet is full of bones, your life is inside a phone The future is lookin gray, you’re longing for yesterday (BUT ITS) never too late to try (EVEN THE ) soggiest blankets can dry (NO ONE) ever said that is easy, cuz its not… (I do declare that) It’s hard to be fun When nobody move (Y’all) immune to the groove You have my deepest sympathy It’s hard to get down (When the) feet all around (Are) glued to the ground It’s hard (I do declare!) When yer dopamine up and dies, when the sparks disembark your eyes Even alcohol doesn’t move you, the way that it used ta do enjoyment is such a slog, we’re all bein’ bumps on logs, We can lead the damn horse to water, but you can’t make the pony party, (just push him in) (horse sound effect!!) It’s hard to be fun When nobody moves Y’all immune to the groove You have my deepest sympathy It’s hard to get down When the feet all around Are glued to the ground It’s hard (I do declare!)
13.
Wandroff 03:13
When the party evolves so fast And there’s too much unknown You can open the se cret door And you’re off your own You can kidnap yourself, and see how far you go Wander off and fall into the scenery (when) occupational details reign and the man has you down One can’t disturb what does not exist Though they might ask around (but you’re) Under a rock, a tree falling down in the forest and nobody cares Your outline in chalk, dashes and dust clouds and soundless air Wander off and fall into the scenery to everyone’s surprise In the distance: (Waaaander off…. Waaaander off) Wander off and fall into the scenery to everyone’s surprise Wander off and fall into the scenery to no one’s surprise Wander off and fall into the scenery to everyone’s surprise Wander off and fall into the scenery for good
14.
Goodbye, little era hardly knew ya There’s a road sign, advertisement, all must go The old man, did not die, but he don’t live here So it’s over, to the corner and beyond They can’t see the change Whole existence down the drain A different voice is taking over Close the book Folsom, has the artwork, but the artists left All gone, let the future, pay the rent Some day, archaeologists will ponder What we stood for, in our short-lived dynasty They can’t see the change Whole existence down the drain A different voice is taking over Close the book

about

These hit singles are looking to mingle all over the darn globe.

Written in secret, rehearsed in a bathroom, recorded on a phone.

credits

released September 28, 2020

Brett Hydeman - Guitar, Vocals
Nicholas Hage - Drums, Bongos, Congas, Blagongas
Rascal Parthenon - Bass, Vocals
Biff Brisco - Guitar, Vocals
Rhonda Marks - Percussion, Synths

Cedar Mathers-Winn - Backing Vocals
Kevin Waylonis - Burnin' Guitar Solo on "Don't Care"

Engineered & Mixed by Danielle Goldsmith at Tiny Telephone in San Franciznar, Calishmornia
www.daniellegoldsmithaudio.com

Art Consulting & Photography Help from Helen Wai-Quen Bentley

Mastered by Jacob Winik
www.jacobwinik.com

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GLAT San Francisco, California

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