Delusions of Grandma

by GLAT

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Slim digipack album. Some say the artwork is arguably the best part of the album. Comes with a free 1" GLAT pin-on button! Keen.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Delusions of Grandma via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days

      $2 USD or more 

     

1.
02:56
2.
3.
01:55
4.
03:22
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
03:52
12.
13.
03:14

about

All songs written by GLAT
Instruments recorded in a water filter store
Vocals recorded at Rocker Studios in Santa Cruz, CA
Mixed & mastered by Drew Thomas

credits

released February 13, 2015

GLAT is:
Brett Hydeman - Vocals
Carlos Banducci - MicroKORG, Omnichord
Brian Parthenon - Bass
Scorpocop - Lead Guitar
Rhonda Marks - Drums
Biff Brisco - Guitar, Casio MT-68

Plus help from:
Cody Catastrophe - Sax on "Champagne"
Cedar Mathers-Winn - Banjo on "Dr. Noggenswapper"
Tyler Martin - Keys & Synths on "Ad in the Paper"
Drew Thomas - A lil' background singing on "Spiffing" "No With Five Ohs" and "Strange Metaphor"

Special thanks to Bruce Wood (thanks for the Cakewalk! )
and to Josh Alper, who put an Omnichord in my hands & told me to have fun. Thanks, pal.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

GLAT Santa Cruz, California

contact / help

Contact GLAT

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: That Smirk
the stage is set for my performance,
and everybody's there
a glance across the crowd, I see her, staring back
and if you can imagine
the corners of her lips askew
and my heart is carved in two

well why does she always got to have that smirk on her face?
the creature is mocking me
she levels the mountains with a single flash of her teeth
the creature mocks me

like a poison dart, into my heart,
she aims it all my way
no antidote can bring me back from such disdain;
I'm jelly in an instant
though I try to seem unafraid
you can tell it's just a masquerade

well why does she always got to have that smirk on her face?
the creature is mocking me
and every time she bares her fangs a demon gets its wings
the creature is:
-scooping out my entrails
-playing xylophone with my rib cage
-pickin' my tendons out of her teeth
....she makes me want to hide in bed

she levels the mountains with a single flash of her teeth
the creature is mocking me
and every time she bares her fangs a demon gets its wings
the creature is mocking me
why does she always got to have that smirk on her face?
the creature mocks me
Track Name: The Clavicles of Heracles
I was cast down out of the heavens
Zeus made me an outcast
but I grabbed something on my way out of there:
the collarbones of a hero past
Now whoever possesses the clavicles
has control over all of the beasts
that Heracles ever defeated
I guess that's lucky for me,

(because these) Clavicles of Heracles will put me in control of an ancient army
Mares of Diomedes will feast upon the flesh of all my enemies

I set fire to all of the vineyards
and pillage the falafel cafes
I've got the monsters doing my bidding
thanks to the clavicles, they do as I say

(you know the) Clavicles of Heracles will put me in control of an ancient army
man-eating birds of Stymphalos will heed my every beck and call

Dodona, Attica, Thermopylae, Mycenae

If they ever find a way to defeat me
and I'm sent to the realm of the dead
I'll give the bones to three-headed Cerberus
and fly out on a giant dogsled

The Clavicles of Heracles will put me in control of an ancient army
Mares of Diomedes will feast upon the flesh of all my enemies
Man-eating birds of Stymphalos will heed my every beck and call
And then I'll travel quickly mounted on my rapid dogsled, towed by Cerberus
Track Name: Spiffing
No, I'm not avoidant- I'm just away
I've closed the avenues, my mind is on parade
and I'm not a speaker, so,
activate the cruise control and go

Hey! I was not listenin', as I prefer
where I'm going, there's no sermons to endure
did the casket drop yet?
or are we still perusing coffin shops?

I formally apologize for all I didn't say
my pilot isn't even here today
I say sayonara to every human face
I'm just a meteor in space, coasting on, and on

I guess I must've made a bee-line to the bereaved
hey this sarcophagus is crafted like a...
cruiser in a nebula! letting me board
leaving all the black holes in my wake
flying through the atmosphere, and, right into space
start another eulogy, okay

I was not in attendance and I barely saw the grave
though my body stands in places where it should
I say sayonara to every human face
I'm just a meteor in space, coasting on, and on, and on!!!

( instrumental interlude: "the great space race" )

sayonara, human race.
it's been forever, but I'm going away
not being avoidant, or hiding my tears,
just floating on for millions of years

sayonara, human race.
it's been forever, but I'm going away
not being avoidant, or hiding my tears,
just floating on for a hundred thousand years
Track Name: Ad in the Paper
I lost my mind when I first saw you
and thanks to your nametag, I know whom,
I can pledge my heart to
I'm too shy to tell you, but I know that I'll find a way

So I put an ad in the paper for you
but apparently you don't read the news
well I'll keep on trying to advertise myself to you
but just not in person

I'm hoping to find some way to show you that I exist
even if that means spending millions of dollars
on extravagant gifts
I'll hire a skywriter and make him do the work

So I hired a plane to write a message in the sky
but I guess that you were stuck indoors at the time
I'll keep on trying to advertise myself to you
but just not in person
Track Name: Glow Worm Cave Zone
Girl you don't know what it is like,
living my whole life under your shadow
It doesn't matter how bright I shine
I'm just a glow worm living in a cave
Track Name: No With Five Ohs
The first word that most of us learn in our whole lives
it should've been the first I used when I ran that stop light
but I was such a goody two-shoes, when
the fuzz gave me the third degree, I caved

If ever there's a case when the moral compass don't apply
if ever there's a moment ethics can't relate or won't mind
It's when the police questions your
behavior just for having a good time

You gotta tell em "no,
I was only getting home
I wasn't playing pop the wheels,
or spook-cruise the whip, no"

We've got to answer with a solemn no
we've got to answer....

I think I'm gettin better at this right and wrong mentality
it keeps me out of cuffs, and I guess that means I'm free
but something tells me in my gut,
that whip ain't yet been cruised spook-wise enough

We've got to answer with a solemn no
We've got to answer with a solemn no
just look him in the eye!
just look him in the eye, that beady, authoritative eye,
and tell him "no"
Track Name: The Strange Metaphor
She took a QUANTUM LEAP into this garbage heap
a muscle twitch among the many fiends that were oppressing me
each of her arms, around me: RE-ANIMATORs... I couldn't believe
but she must've also threatened my enslaver: the dreaded s-a-d

he's like the tower of BABYLON, FIVE metaphoric tons
and he was holding me prisoner, I was his furniture, frozen, wall-bound
but the key transition here, is she waltzed right in,
with a thermal detonator

now and then, I close my eyes, and I'm back to channeling a block of ice
but all I need is her baradium, and a FIREFLY will hatch inside

I had become more alone than a solo
the greys and the blues had me shackled
it was as low as the worms of Arrakis,
covered up, and burrowed down
but she came out of nowhere to save me
and later, holding hands in the forest moon, beyond the grave of

the tower of BABYLON, FIVE metaphoric tons
and he was holding me prisoner, just some furniture, frozen, wall-bound
but the key transition here, is she waltzed right in,
with a thermal detonator

I had found SERENITY when she barged right in
with a thermal detonator
Track Name: Dr. Noggenswapper
Mopey Tumbo placed a lot of faith in me
even though he knows results aren't guaranteed
but I'll do my best to fix him up with something that fits better
than the body that genetics cursed him with

you know, I'm the guy to call to help you transfer brains
if you think you're ugly, or you're damaged, and in pain
I've got an A-plus rating with the Better Business Bureau
and I offer Highlights Magazine in my waiting room

I'm Dr. Noggenswapper, I'll do the switcharoo on your noodle
I'm Dr. Noggenswapper, I can replace a cabeza, and stick it in a poodle

People sometimes come to me without a single dime- unfortunately,
I've got a business to run; I'm not just doing this in my spare time
but I've got a 6-month payment plan, and I accept most major
credit cards, so, put your brand-new body on layaway

I'm Dr. Noggenswapper, I'll do the switcharoo on your noodle
I'm Dr. Noggenswapper

now past a certain point, there's only so much I can do
but it's an honest practice and I'm never gonna try to cheat you
it's a quality business based on values AND I'LL SWAP YOUR BRAIN
...I've got a money-back guarantee if you picked a dud
Track Name: Bubble Box Factory Zone
Slide that punchcard, it's time to face the enemy
Five thousand years, facing a-
Screen my calls! Cuz I'm going home,
I'm gonna live in a cave, and eventually forget my name

Life is such a secret. those in the know, they stay out of cubes
while the rest of us build a cozy noose
and you should try to see it this way- it's sort of an adventure unto itself
pretend you're one of santa's elves

Getting it done (getting it done)
one more day (one more dollar)
I couldn't be there, I gotta be here
though sometimes, I dream...
Screen my calls! Cuz I'm going home,
I'm gonna live in a cave, and eventually forget my name

trabajando el risto de mi vida

I'm gonna work til the end of time, I'm gonna work for the rest of my days
gonna work til the end of days, gonna work for the rest of my days,
slaving away
gonna work til the end of days, gonna work til the end of days
slaving away

you should try to see it this way- it's sort of an adventure unto itself
pretend you're one of santa's elves
Track Name: Champagne
ra cha cha cha!

melody, a battling rose,
the kind of incident I don't wanna believe
don't wanna watch her leave

I'll sit alone against the wall,
a perfect peach memorial of what ain't true
can't calibrate to

can't hardly talk, can't barely move, and nothing to withdraw into
it's for the best cuz it was such a mess but there was beauty in the madness too

I just want to sit and drink
champagne all day
in honor of you and because of you

I just want to sit and drink
champagne all day
in honor of you and because of you

(red-hot sax solo)
Track Name: Swamp Chapel Zone
this track is an instrumental, but feel free to add your own lyrics and sing along as it plays.

Here are some suggested topics you could sing about:
- swamps
- chapels
- medieval Italian literature
- Harry Houdini
- Cajun stuff
- a cool glass of lemonade on a hot Savannah, GA afternoon
- frogs
- a skeleton dancing around in a church
- lizards
- banjos
- a skeleton riding around on a hovercraft in the everglades
- snakes
- an alligator hosting a dance party
- worms that are ghosts (or ghost worms, if you will)
Track Name: These Days
These days, I don't go outside, and I hardly ever change my clothes
I've got a gloomy temperament that wants me overthrown
but I've got something brewing- a pre-ordained, compulsive dream

That manic buoyance dragged me up from the pit where I was born
And when you've had a taste, it's like you've found the lord
yeah with such unbridled moxie, reality don't mean a thing

And there's gonna be a point some day
and it's just a couple-a steps away
as my beard creeps down beneath my toes
all the Grandeur Vapours™ fill my nose

These days I feel like a loon
yeah these days I feel like some sort of lunatic
that lives underground

Another night alone with just a mind full of bulbs to light, they
don't come on most the time, but when they do they really do me right
I scrawl and then I scribble, who needs that spooky world outside?

There's gonna be a point some day
and it's just a couple steps away
and as my beard creeps down beneath my toes
all the Grandeur Vapours™ fill my nose

These days I feel like a loon
yeah these days I feel like some sort of lunatic
that lives underground